I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
