she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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