I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize