chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
