My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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