she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize