ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
