FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
