Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
