Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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