Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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