will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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