I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so let's talk penis.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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