I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
