Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
