i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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