I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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