No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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