She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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