my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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