420 ftw
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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