I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
