her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
