it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
