It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The air was thick with penises
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
