As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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