Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
