We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
