Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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