I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
