We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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