it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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