hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize