You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
