There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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