I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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