Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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