you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
