Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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