Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
