New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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