I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize