In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
