It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i out mim tonsoeep
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