My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
