I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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