You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
