the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
