remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
