Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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