I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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