Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
