You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
