i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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