Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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