Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize