oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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