Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
