I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
