so explain again why im purple
no
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
